"Sujfan." Awesome.

Take that, Garden State soundtrack likers.

Fiat Jokes

Heard on Car Talk:

Where do you go to get parts for a Fiat?

-Follow around another Fiat.

How do you get a Fiat to go 60 mph?

-Push it off a cliff.

Did you hear about the the anti-theft measures on the new Fiat?

-Yeah, they made the logo bigger.

What's the difference between a Fiat and a Jehova's Witness?

-You can close the door on Jehova's Witness.

I went to the dealer and said, "I'd like a new gas cap for my Fiat."

-He said, "Okay, sounds like a fair trade."

What do you call a Fiat on top of a hill?

-A miracle.

What do you call two Fiats on top of a hill?

-Science Fiction

What do you call three Fiats on top of a hill?

-A strange place to build a Fiat factory.

Take that you fascists!

My Convocation Speech 2009

First, I'd like to start by reading a selection from a classic children's story.

Oh, The Places You Won't Go

by Garrett F Baker

Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You're off to Great Places!
You're off and away!

You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes
You can steer yourself
any direction you choose.

Oh by the way, you're competing for jobs against people with masters, doctorates, and 20 years experience. Save yourself four months and go ahead and apply to The Cheesecake Factory.

THE END

This Week in Movies

The new trailer for Post Grad features a two-second clip of Alexis Bledel running into this building for an interview at a publishing company. As seen here:

It's not a publishing company, however, it's the CAA building. For the midwest inclined, that's the Creative Artists Agency, the top agency in LA (perhaps until a recent merger) where yours truly had an interview that ended in the interviewer telling the interviewee that he had done it only as a favor to a colleague. At least I got a taste of some primo valet parking.

In the background, however, you'll see a building where I did find work. The 9th and 11th floors of the tower on the right contains the headquarters for Lifetime Television, where I did a week of temp work. So, that nearly settles it. I'm famous.

But now I work in Hollywood, I don't have to wear a suit, and I make a ton more money doing the same shit work (but for way cooler people than your average agent).

P.S. I'd just like to take this chance to give out a kind and gentle "f you" to the executive who eight months ago said, "What are we going to do with this recession?...Hey, get me that script about that girl who can't find a job!" and then went home to his mansion.